Work & Parenthood

I spoke with a former TiVo colleague over Mothers Day weekend.  Karen was a young pup when she worked in my Marketing organization -- and since those days, she has gone on to get her MBA, earn her professional stripes, get married, and now is a mother of an adorable 18 month old daughter.

Karen is struggling with the balance of work and parenthood.  Suddenly, the career climb, which at one point was an exhilarating challenge seems silly, ridiculous, pointless.   And yet, so much of Karens identity is tied to her professional life -- her position and responsibilities, her talents and achievements.    Her voice cracked with emotion as she shared her apprehensions of leaving her job and her other choice,  staying home with her child.   

Ive been incredibly lucky in my career, having had the great fortune of working in environments that embrace the fabulous concept of  FLEXIBILITY.    Karen works in an environment that does not.  From a business point of view, I think this is insane.  When my babes were little,  I always timidly asked for ways to juggle my work and  family.  In return for  reduced hours or the ability to work from home, I was motivated to over-achieve and then some -- to make sure I never let my managers or my people question my commitment or passion.  My gratitude fueled my performance. 

  

I tried to cheer Karen on -- to share with her the immense feeling of empowerment one can have by defining her work/life balance on her terms.  If the option isn't there for her where she is, it is time for her to move on, but that doesn't mean she has to head home, full-time.  FLEXIBILITY is a life raft for parents.  I recognize that some careers are better suited for this kind of approach than others, but in Karens case, there are several ways she can apply her craft to make a living and satisfy her intellectual needs, doing both while also being there for her daughter.  To design this kind of career path is at first terrifying but then, exhilarating.  Its a testament to your very motherhood -- fighting to support your family, your way!

Granted, compromise is part of the deal.   I wish I were sitting on a boatload of cash right now, which I might have today had I opted for the crazy work grind, but as I basked in my Mothers Day glow, enjoying a weekend with my three amazing grown children, I know that I did the right thing.   My kids can come to me for life and career advice and I know they respect my accomplishments in the office -- as well as in the home.    

Many of my co-workers have young children.  They are amazing at what they do in their jobs.  I want to support their talents and contributions with flexibility so they never feel like they're sacrificing too much in the name of the Climb.    The truth is, I want this for all my colleagues -- parents and non-parents alike.   From experience, I know that by having choice in how we work, we all make out in the end.