I'm worried about a sick friend. Her cancer seems to be getter the upper hand, but I have faith in her resolve and tenacity and pray that her team of doctors will come up with a new treatment plan that will deliver good results. Gina's proactive management of her disease and her unyielding positive spirit remind me of my mom, so these two amazing women are my inspiration for this post today.
I made the mistake of reading Anna Quindlen's One True Thing soon after Mom passed away after her 5 year battle with ovarian cancer. The activity was masochistic. I sobbed and sobbed, tears gushing as fiercely as projectile vomiting, but I just couldn't tear myself away from Quindlen's depiction of Kathy Gulden's' demise and death. It was if I hadn't experienced enough heartache watching my mom go from power woman to power patient to a frail, hollow skeleton waiting to die. I'm still haunted by the memory of Mom tearfully admitting, "I so wanted to beat this thing, now I just want it to end." That shitty disease viciously tortured my mother and painfully and ever so slowly ate her alive.
Upon reflection, I think I just needed to wallow in the horror, share it, chew on it and hover in the darkness of the mourning process and through Quindlen's novel, I got that opportunity in spades. Soon after though, I was able to move on. No, I don't credit the "read" with this personal growth. At just some random moment in time, I at last could find the "good" that came from that hideous experience. And that gave me the path to grow. In crisis, you witness the best in people. Their courage. Their strength. Their compassion. Their love. It's a phenomenon that transcends your circle of family and friends, it extends to a community that rushes in to provide comfort and support. It's powerful and touching and beautiful.
It's my competitive nature to never admit defeat and so by holding on to the tenets of the good, as detailed above, I proudly proclaim that cancer did not beat our family. Rather, my interaction with the disease taught me some powerful life lessons that have shaped the person I am today. I am strong and I have some serious resolve. Jeff is one kick-ass life partner and the two of us can handle any mess you throw our way. My children are my treasures, they always were, but I will do everything in my power to provide a happy and healthy life for them. I have an incredible family that I love and cherish. My friends feed my soul and spirit. With their support, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to do. My life is a gift and I will never take it for granted.
So cancer, up yours. Mom won. Her battle with you gave me something life-changing. And you can never, ever take that away from us.
No comments:
Post a Comment